Fat Byatch...

For some reason I've allowed myself to indulge in yesterday and now, I get on a scale and I'm pretty damn disappointed. I weight...gasp....grrr....172 now, holy crap, I can't believe it, of course looking amazing in my extra large shirts doesn't help, but looking at those three numbers did. Crap, I thought I needed to lose 30 pounds, it's more like 40 now...crap... no more beer for me I see.

Anyhow in other news, I am getting the chance to work under a doctor and I'm so damn excited, more news about that to follow-until then. ttyl!

FMLA Over

I go back to work tomorrow (unless I get laid off between now and then...yeah it's possible, but we won't get into that on this blog post), I'm excited to get back to my career, even though I am secretly hoping the job I phone interviewed for calls me back, and I'm so ready for work-life balance to kick in. I'm lucky my mother watches my baby, I couldn't panthom putting her in daycare, I wanted my little girl to have one constant caregiver, i.e., my reasoning for having children early, so I'm blessed my mom is retired! It's amazing how much she's grown and how cute her little personality is, It's pretty cool to see those weeks of endless sleep and cries, are over, well at least for now and we're filled with coos and smiles.

On that note, time to get ready for work!

This Stork Is Closed...

I love being a mother, honestly I do. But I am frightened to have more children. I can not believe this, but it was confirmed. I leaked fluid throughout my pregnancy, I thought it was discharge, but it was my amnotic fluid, now here's the kicker, I produced too much fluid!! So the two evils, they balanced each other out. I had BV, Bacterial Vaginosis, which I've had most of my life, -insert dirty whore comment here- (I'm kidding) add that to years of infertility, extreme morning sickness and the intense fear I had for nine months, I am opting out of getting pregnant again. My husband would like another, however, his part only includes donated the sperm, as he says he wants a son, but when we have his nephew over, he buys him a game and sits him in front of the television... while I end up having to spend as much quality time with them as possible, without babybell missin me and getting jealous..lol....Maybe I will be more open to the more children idea in the future, who knows, I may get the babyblues hard! But I type this as a written account, so that If I do get those feelings I have this to refer to.

Writin The Rules...

I have a week more of maternity leave, that's all.

In order to maximize the time I have with my daughter the following will take place.

1. My husband will be in charge of cleaning every Sunday Morning, I will only do a through cleaning once a month.

2. Cooking, will be done on Sunday and that meal will venture for two days, on Tuesday, that is my husband's day to cook, on Friday we will make a light meal and Saturday is order out.

3. When I get home from work, I will pump, shower and then baby. Baby will be "provided the opportunity to go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

4. Clothing will be ironed on Sunday for the week, Diaper bag will be packed for the week.

5. Must get up at 5:45 a.m. and workout, situps, Monday-Friday, and hip hop abs Mon, Weds & Friday (those days I will wake up at 5:30 a.m.) Baby is woken up for bottle at 6:15 and dressed we must be out the door at 6:45 a.m. to arrive at Mom's at 7:30 a.m. and at work by 8:00 a.m.

6. Leave work at 4:45 p.m. get at Mom's before 5:30 p.m. and home by 6:30 p.m., when DH is out of town, try to stay longer at work and spend the night at mom's, maximizes time with baby and deletes commute.

Mommy's Big Girl..

I don't like to see my baby get bigger, I know that this is life and she must grow up. But I like my skunkbaby to stay a little baby. Oh, I can remember changing her pamper for the first time, oh I never thought poop could smell so good. Every night I sign "Miracle Baby" to her, it's a song I made up, to express just how much of a miracle she is. Aww, and now as she swings in her swing, I look at her and say, "Baby don't ever change".....

I Want To Save The World....

I do...

I am an overachiever, I want to save the world. I will say one thing about me, I am selfless to those that I see true compassion and loyality, I do have a defect, I can not stand those that are hateful and lazy, ughs, especially towards one's mother. I have, an abnormal connection to my mother, she is my knight in shinning armor, she is the reason I haven't moved out of state yet, uh, I can't stand to not be by my mommy...lol....While sitting in the doctor's waiting room at my checkup exam, I read my horoscope, it said something on the lines of this, "While you may identify with your current career, there is a career that needs you", then my mind starts to run, infertility? education? ughs!! Not this again I thought, my crazy indecisive mind!! I want to save the world, I want to be a big deal...lol...I want to save people and be remembered for that, which is what lead me to my current career, I love helping people! I do everything to help people, however, I am in control of my destiny and I have to pick the best path for me.....

P.S. we recieved a new govenor in last night's election, I called my mom and said, "I'm excited, but I don't know if it's because we're getting rid of our old govenor or because we are getting a new one", I sure hope he stablizes the Welfare and WIC Program, as I am disguisted about how easy the system can be manipulated and how those that actually need it are rejected for crazy reason, awww look at the politican in me!

Hey Happy November!

I'm off the clock for a minute.

The baby boss kicked my butt the last two weeks, so excuse me for not posting, my free time was spent with sleeping and surfing the web brainlessly and aimlessly. If, I could get DH to stay up one night, perhaps I wouldn't be sleeping past 11am with babybell, however, my husband is allergic to the baby 22 hours of the day...lol... he expects me to do all the baby needs, which is fine, I know he's nervous around her, I told him to enjoy her! Cause noone else will be living in my uterus, on that note, can you believe I got my period, 6 weeks 3 days postpartum, and I'm breastmilk pumping and breastfeeding, I guess since I give her a formula bottle it's not considered exclusive, but like wtf...I haven't been happy to see my period since it came, minus a few "accidents" in my youngin years. I posted my resume a few places and got a call back from a job that used to be my dream job and then as soon as I got there, I realized that it wasn't for me anymore, eh, its funny how you can envision something and once you really see it, you totally change your mind. What I did realize is that I like being the HBIC at a company and working under corporate direction, so at least that generalized my area of specialization. I'm convinced my hubby to check out the state next spring that I hope we can move to in four years, the birth of our daughter has given me so much to think about, and I really do cherish each day and I want to do EVERYTHING i aspired. Except the nurse thing, I realized this weekend my incredible distain for germs (to be written in another blog) and an elementary teacher, as I may spank all the bad kids..lol...So I realized I'm pretty much in the right career path. We found a family church and I'm ecsatic!! Finally!! We'll that's it for now, but trust me, more intresting stuff to come.